First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
