I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize