Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
