I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
