is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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