Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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