She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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