I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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