he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
