she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
