another moral hangover. fuck.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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