Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im holly from the hills drunk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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