He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
