im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The Olympian is in my bed
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
