my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
