Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
