you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
