i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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