Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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