So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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