She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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