I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
