the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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