i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
