So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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