Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
