Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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