i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
