We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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