it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
