The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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