It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
this is an emotional support booty call
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
