Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize