you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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