The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
