She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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