ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
