Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
