I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I checked into jail on foursquare
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
