We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
