I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
