It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
