just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
