he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize