I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize