Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
