Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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