Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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