heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
