I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
