omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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