hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
