Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
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Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back