I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
