We won't sleep together?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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