I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
