You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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