There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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