We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
